Deal Accordingly

“What should we have for my last meal,” are the words I spoke to my parents who occasionally (emphasis here) appreciate my dramatic nature. Am I going into surgery or being executed? Although I realize an execution is a tad more permanent, I feel as though these final hours before they “chop off my boobs,” as I like to call it, are like my boobs’ version of going into the chamber for a double homicide. No suicide watch is necessary, but you know what I mean. So, everything is in reference to my surgery and its impending arrival—my last meal, my last jog (wont be doing that for 4-6 weeks), my last outfit (ya a girl’s gotta think about these things)…dead boobs bouncing.

I went to New York to check on my bite-size apartment last week (I am getting my treatment done in Ohio where my family is but I was living in Manhattan) and one of my friends gave my boobs a special tug and said goodbye to them. Weird? No, I liked it. If you have to go through this as well, say goodbye. Mourn your loss. And then focus on your new breasts. Ya, the cancer free ones. The ones that don’t want to KILL you! Those are the ones we want. Get out of that dark place because honestly your boobs were on their way south anyways and luckily enough we can just get nice new ones! Any size you want for the low, low price of…No wait! Insurance will cover it! Yet another score!

For me, the days before my bilateral mastectomy are filled with concerns over the potential complications of the actual surgery. I am a worrier—we will get to that later. The Internet is not my friend in these final hours and may not be yours. Assess and deal accordingly. Any potential risk is a problem for me because I obsess over it. For you, it may be different. You may not have slept the last few weeks and are eagerly anticipating that special cocktail the anesthesiologist has whipped up just for you. Get your REM on, girl! So my advice during these final hours is to do whatever you need to do to get through it. Whatever keeps your mind off it—you have thought about it enough—do it. Use your “C” card as I like to call it. Be as selfish as you want. Spend all day at Dairy Queen (can I join?), go to Bloomingdales, watch an 80’s movie marathon, have a going away party for your boobs, START A BLOG perhaps. Do whatever you need! If that means calling your surgeon 30 times in one day then do it. No I did not. Did I want to? Absolutely.

You most likely will need to see your team of doctors the day before your surgery but other than that you have time to kill. After I head over to my plastic surgeon where he will draw on my chest with a sharpie, I plan on getting a pedicure and baking pumpkin muffins and perhaps some kale chips. Kale is your friend. Remember this. Ya these plans are girly I know, but I also watch football, I am at least aware of who is in the World Series, and I can bro-down with the best of them. But I am excited for a majority of my day and am focusing on the good parts. Tonight may get a little dark but that is where the movie marathon comes in and several family members are flying in to be with me as well, which will keep me both happy and distracted. Here is to my final hours pre-op!


15 thoughts on “Deal Accordingly

  1. I admire your positive attitude, your sense of humor. Plus your fluency as a writer, this would make a good book to encourage somebody else that is going through this or something similar. I wanted to right to encourage you and it was the opposite. I love you very much, and yes last night I did not sleep very well, but I kept praying for you and the rest of the family. After reading your blog I feeling less worried, but it’s not about me it is about you, Chiquita (little one) God bless you. Grandma Olga.

  2. Hi Abby just want you to know that we love you and are praying for you down in San Antonio! Btw, on your first post you put something about being a hypochondriac, it must run in the family because Tia Nena, my brother and I are 😉 Again love you and I’ll be praying for you!

  3. Hi, Abby, I am so sorry to hear about the challenge you are facing, but please know that prayers are coming your way from Orlando. My mother is up there now visiting my sister Julie, and I’m certain the two of them are busy praying for you, too. May God bless you and give you tons and tons of courage and a super quick recovery.

  4. Abby, You don’t know me, I work with your mom. I just want to tell you are very brave. I am keeping you and your family in my prayers. Keep up the good fight!
    Vicki Mott

  5. We love you Abby! Justice, the kids and I will be praying for you tonight, tomorrow and beyond. I am so proud of the strength and humor with which you are facing this obstacle. Maybe you can have a new boob naming contest soon. Have you considered getting different sized implants just for interests sake it would make for great conversation piece(s?) at the assisted living? Just kidding, but the truth is, you do have some power and some choice in all this awfulness and your decision to write and to inspire others is a testament to your true spirit. I’m proud to know you.

  6. So thankful to have some time with you last week. Say YES to the pre-op drugs tomorrow! And make sure if you have a PCA pain pump post-op that you put Katie in charge of pushing the button if you nod off. You are on my mind almost constantly! Hoping that tomorrow goes smoothly. We prayed for you and your doctors today. You can do this girl!

  7. You are one amazing, feisty lady. I am praying for your continued courage and your upbeat outlook. I like the your saying goodbye to your boobs and looking toward disease free ones. This blog reminds me that you are as beautiful inside as you are on the outside. I will be there to support your parents during your surgery. Mel Miller will be helping with anything you need on Thursday. I have loads of girlie movies in my stash so if you need more selections for your movie marathons…have Chris or Ted call.
    Mel and I went through this together last year and she is proof to me that there is life and quality life afterwards. I have a great book of quality hats, wigs ect at work incase no one else has given it to you. Love you Abby! My team will be lifting you up in prayer at 8 tommorow am. Richa

  8. Thinking about you and praying for you. Yes, I think a book is heading to the stores. You are a great writer. I prayed for you all day on Wednesday and I will continue…
    You have a great support team there in Kettering. They all love you so much! I do too!

  9. It is so amazing to me what tough experiences bring out in people….though I guess it was probably always there. You are an amazing writer and your humor will help you, and everyone else through this…..If you run out of movies and need a laugh, go to my son’s blog – Hang in there. I wore every pink ribbon item I could find yesterday, and yes, I looked ridiculous….but really, who cares

  10. My oh my Dear Abby, What a lot to deal with. We are cheering you on. As you are going to need all the courage you can muster.

    What a beautiful blog description you have written. Your bravery is encouraging and uplifting , just to read it. Thank you so much.

    Abby, We have and we will continue to pray for you and for those helping you fight this disease. We love you.

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